Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Africa. Aaah any argument to justify putting up a picture of a giraffe
trying to hump a donkey!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Uganda is full of thieves, Museveni tells Rwanda
Posted Monday, August 1 2011 at 09:28
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I GAVE BIRTH TO TWO-HEADED SNAKE
The 27 year-old Patience was saved two months ago after serving the devil for more than seven years and is not the first person in Swaziland to testify about encounters with the powers of darkness.
On the day she was saved, her husband [who is a police officer, but did not want to be named] Pastor Manana of the Church of God and other policemen watched in horror as Patience vomited gallons of blood, two types of snakes, three live starfish and 20 ordinary fish, a dead rat, over 700 worms and other gory items.
Her ears also excreted millipedes (emashongololo) and days later, she ‘gave birth’ to a two headed snake after experiencing hours of what she described as labour pains.
The traumatised husband who was in the company of Pastor Manana recalls the scene of Patience’s’ deliverance vividly and describes it as being reminiscent of a horror movie that never seemed to end.
Both Patience and her police officer husband praised the Lord for her deliverance and thanked Pastor Manana “for allowing God to use him to save her”.
Patience still does not believe that so many animals were implanted in her body and operated in the seven years that she worked for the devil.
In an interview, the husband still traumatised by the candid confessions, admitted that he was blissfully unaware that his wife of four years was a devil worshipper.
“I never suspected, not even once, that my wife was a devil worshipper, until two months ago when she was prayed for and saved,” he said in an interview in one of the police camps where the couple lives with their two toddlers.
Despite the military training he received at the police college, Patience’s husband said nothing could have prepared him for the horrific scene he witnessed on the day of his wife’s deliverance.
Patience claims to have held a very high rank in hell, and that when she was saved, demons were not amused with her newfound life in the Lord.
After she was saved, she claims to have received all kinds of threats from the devil and many pleas to return to the dirty of life of demons, in exchange for riches and a luxurious life.
“The devil promised to give me a brand new shiny car and money if I went back to him, but I am not going there ever again,” she vowed, adding “my family and I suffered too much in the hands of satan”.
Patience acknowledged that it may be hard for some people to actually believe that devil worshippers exist, but warned all people, especially parents to be careful of what their children get up to.
She advised parents to monitor their children, especially those using computers for social networking as they are the most prone to falling trap to evil spirits.
Giving a glimpse of what her task in hell was, she said her main role was to take care of Pastors. “My main role was to iron Pastor’s suits and handkerchiefs they use to wipe sweat during sermons,” she said.
She was referring to well-known men of the cloth in Swaziland who on the surface are known as true Christians, but in real life serve the devil.
The other task was to cause trouble for her husband, as Satan accused him of having ill-treated another devil worshipper whose real name is Kholekile whilst he was on duty.
“The snake hated my husband so much that he wanted him killed at some stage,” said Patience. Both Patience and husband are now born again Christians and enjoy their new found faith.
She advised Christians to worship Christ in truth, fast, pray and read the Bible and live according to what it says to avoid being affected by demons.
“Pastor” hires hit men to kill PatienceA certain well known Pastor from one of the charismatic churches reportedly hired hit men from South Africa to kill Patience Tsabedze, a former devil worshipper.
The hitmen surfaced in June, and as a result, Patience and her police officer husband were forced to move from their rented flat at Ezulwini where they lived before, to a police camp because of safety reasons.
The pastor was apparently irked by the confessions made by Patience and also feared that he might be exposed.
“The pastor called me several times and begged me not to expose him in newspapers. At some stage he sent a church member who promised to build me a mansion and buy me a nice car on condition that I did not mention that the Pastor was from hell,” she said. The hitmen arrived at Ezulwini but could not locate both Patience and her husband.
Evil T-shirts, rings and underwears confisticatedTwo T-shirts, rings and a strange looking panty that were used by Patience in the under world were confisticated by Pastor Manana. Pastor Manana did not say when he would destroy the items.
The strange underwear operates electronically and has visible seven lights. Some of the items she received as a gift could not be confisticated by the Pastor. Patience warned that some of the most liked clothing labels are manufactured in hell.
Shop owners, Beware!
One of the issues that emerged during an interview with Patience was that many items found in shops nowadays are manufactured in hell. Patience is not the first former devil worshipper to highlight the presence of factories under the sea where real people and experts from real life labour to produce many things.
Patience alleged that some of the manufactured items contain codes one of which is known as code 9.
“When an item contains code 9 and is displayed in a shop, it is easy for a devil worshipper to lift it from a shop without paying for it, and no one, not even the fiercest security guard would ever notice that”
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
"I have promised to keep his identity confidential,' said Jackie Maxim,
a spokeswoman for the Sandton Sun Hotel, Johannesburg , "but I can
confirm that he is no longer in our employment. We asked him to clean
the lifts and he spent four days on the job.
When I asked him why, he replied: 'Well, there are forty of them, two
on each floor and sometimes some of them aren't there'. Eventually, we
realized that he thought each floor had a different lift, and he'd
cleaned the same two twelve times. "We had to let him go. It seemed
best all round. I understand he is now working for Eskom (Power
2. The Star ( Johannesburg )
"The situation is absolutely under control," Transport Minister
Ephraem Magagula told the Swaziland Parliament in Mbabane . "Our
nation's merchant navy is perfectly safe. We just don't know where it
is, that's all." Replying to an MP's question, Minister Magagula
admitted that the landlocked country had completely lost track of its
only ship, the Swazimar: "We believe it is in a sea somewhere. At one
time, we sent a team of men to look for it, but there was a problem
with drink and they failed to find it, and so, technically, yes, we've
lost it a bit. But I categorically reject all suggestions of
incompetence on the part of this government. The Swazimar is a big
ship painted in the sort of nice bright colours you can see at night.
Mark my words, it will turn up. The right honourable gentleman
opposite is a very naughty man, and he will laugh on the other side of
his face when my ship comes in."
3. The Standard ( Kenya )
"What is all the fuss about?" Weseka Sambu asked a hastily convened
news conference at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport . "A technical
hitch like this could have happened anywhere in the world. You people
are not patriots You just want to cause trouble." Sambu, a spokesman
for Kenya Airways, was speaking after the cancellation of a through
flight from Kisumu, via Jomo Kenyatta, to Berlin . "The forty-two
passengers had boarded the plane ready for take-off, when
the pilot noticed one of the tyres was flat. Kenya Airways did not
possess a spare tyre, and unfortunately the airport nitrogen canister
was empty. A passenger suggested taking the tyre to a petrol station
for inflation, but unluckily the jack had gone missing so we couldn't
get the wheel off. Our engineers tried heroically to re-inflate the
tyre with a bicycle pump, but had no luck, and the pilot even blew into
the valve with his mouth, but he passed out. "When I announced that
the flight had to be abandoned, one of the passengers, Mr Mutu,
suddenly struck me about the face with a life-jacket whistle and said
we were a national disgrace. I told him he was being ridiculous, and
that there was to be another flight in a fortnight. And, in the
meantime, he would be able to enjoy the scenery around Kisumu, albeit
at his own expense."
4. From a Zimbabwean newspaper
While transporting mental patients from Harare to Bulawayo , the bus
Driver stopped at a roadside shebeen (beerhall) for a few beers. When
he got back to his vehicle, he found it empty, with the 20 patients
nowhere to be seen. Realizing the trouble he was in if the truth were
uncovered, he halted his bus at the next bus stop and offered lifts to
those in the queue. Letting 20 people board, he then shut the doors
and drove straight to the Bulawayo mental hospital, where he hastily
handed over his 'charges', warning the nurses that they were
particularly excitable. Staff removed the furious passengers; it was
three days later that suspicions were roused by the consistency of
stories from the 20. As for the real patients: nothing more has been
heard of them and they have apparently blended comfortably back into
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
|Man killed by 'sexual sweetness'|
Newspapers in that country say Fletcher Jere picked the hooker from the Ndirande suburb of the capital, Blantyre, “to quench his libido”.
But he suddenly collapsed and fell off a bed after a steamy sex romp with the prostitute.
Police spokeswoman Edina Ligowe told the Daily Times newspaper: “Jere died of too much sexual excitement and sweetness.
“The sex worker will not be prosecuted because she committed no crime by being too sweet for the man.”Medical experts say the man may have died of cardiogenic shock -- a condition in which the heart fails to supply blood to the rest of the body. This can be caused by “dangerous heart rhythms”.
Most likely, the experts say, Jere had an underlying heart defect.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
In a bill proposed by Malawi President Bingu wa Mutharika, citizens who repeatedly pass gas in public could be punished as criminals, according to The Daily Mail.
Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/malawi-farting-illegal-2011-1#ixzz1Ch7cQmsb